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Teary-Eyed Biden Takes Major Behind White House Shed After Third Bite
“I’m Just Not a COVID Type of Guy” Says Man Without Mask
Woman Reconnects with Imaginary Friend in Quarantine
Vatican Changes “Good Friday” to “Decent Friday” to Lower Expectations
Jimmy Carter Found Dead
CDC Says Communal Food Troughs to be Open at 100% by June
This Message is Being Translated into Multiple Languages: tbh im a rly nice guy
Nonbinary? I Don’t Care as Long as You’re Coming to the Barbecue
Empowered Goose Breaks Border Barrier
Uh-Oh! Date says He’s Socially Liberal but Fiscally Conservative
Smokey the Bear Mauls Tourists for Not Social Distancing
“Babe, Think of the Plastic Waste,” says Guy Trying to Fuck Raw
Man Who Calls White People “Colonizer” Finally Learns to Suck Own Dick
Pornhub Premium Introduces “Profiles” Feature so Whole Family can Enjoy
Walking Corpse Approaching Death
Trendy College Student Deems Procrastination His "Creative Process"
Rush Limbaugh Unable to Pull Himself Out of Grave by His Bootstraps
Quarantine Beards: Not Just for Men
Indie Boy Tells Girlfriend She Doesn’t Even Understand Gaslighting
Garlic and Onion on Labor Strike for Being Overworked in the Kitchen