Despite numerous inquiries by relatives local teenager Dominic Hall has not grown at taller within the last six months. According to Dominic, his friends, and the pencil marks on his wall at home, he has grown a total of zero inches.
His extended family, however, has a different opinion. Lois Hall, Dominic’s aunt said “Dominic was just a baby the last time I saw him! For goodness sake, he could hardly reach up for a hug. What a little sweetie!” Several other reports have been gathered from members of Dominic’s family, each one characterizing Dominic’s growth as “super”, “unbelievable”, and “like a tadpole to a frog.”
In a recent interview with Dominic himself, he clearly expressed his frustration with his family. Standing at a height of 5’4” for the last half year, he understands that he has plateaued.
“Why the hell does everyone think I’m growing?” said Dominic. “I’m not. I am 5 feet 4 inches tall dammit, and I’m not getting taller anytime soon. Honestly, all my family is doing is giving me false hope. They don’t think I get enough shit at school for being short? Screw you, Aunt Lois.”
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