Student Builds Schedule Based on Sexiest Professors on Campus
- Madison Misnomer
- 13 minutes ago
- 2 min read
While most students spend hours stressing over selecting a major, prerequisites and course availability, sophomore Eric Shin has taken a more impassioned approach to his semester planning: targeting the most attractive professors on campus.
“I mean, I could have taken Econ 101 with some old dude named Dr. Bear,” Shin said, reclining in his dorm room surrounded by a frenzied network of RateMyProfessor screenshots. “Or, I could take it with Professor Martinez, who has a five-star rating and also happens to be a former Ms. Universe. Easy choice.”
Shin, a self-proclaimed “academic visionary,” painstakingly curated his schedule using a blend of Facebook stalking, RateMyProfessor reviews and sage advice from upperclassmen.
“Bro, finalizing my schedule was such a pain in the butt. That’s why I’m launching this website called Smash or Pass Class,” said Shin. “It’ll be a lifesaver for next semester.”
While some students are applauding Shin’s commitment to his personal vision of higher education, others remain skeptical.
“I can’t decide if it’s genius or deeply concerning,” said his roommate, Stuart Smalls, who spent two hours refreshing the course registration page only to end up with Intro to Statistics at 5 a.m. with a professor rumored to smell like microwaved fish.
In light of Shin’s methods, University administrators have issued a cautious response. “While we respect students' right to choose their courses, we encourage them to prioritize academic rigor over, uh, other factors,” said Chancellor Mnookin, struggling to keep a straight face. “But hey, at least he’s going to class.”
Now, a few weeks into the semester, Shin reports that while his classes are “extremely engaging,” they have presented some unexpected challenges.
“I forgot to factor in the pressure,” he admitted. “It’s hard to focus on supply and demand curves when your professor’s pecs are the only curves you wanna study. My participation grade is suffering because I keep blacking out mid-discussion.”
Still, Shin remains steadfast in his academic approach. “Learning should be inspiring,” he said, adjusting his carefully planned outfit before heading to office hours. “And I, for one, have never been more motivated to study.”