When the Madison Misnomer received a mysterious package from our direct and only competitor, the Onion, we knew the end was finally here for the Misnomer. Over our 15+ years of publishing we had been preparing for this eventuality. We had our go bags in hand and our plane tickets to Tahiti in our pockets. Put simply, the harsh reality of the cutthroat news world has always been a lingering and persistent threat in the back of all of our minds. However, much to our surprise, we hadn't received a cease-and-desist letter covered in anthrax, rather we had been generously gifted some free copies of the Onion's new print edition. While initially thrilled that we were not going to have to abandon our families, the literate staff members of the Madison Misnomer quickly became concerned about what exactly we were supposed to do with these printings. Paper? News? These concepts are well beyond our simple little minds, so instead of skimming the headlines and ignoring everything else, we came up with 5 simple and fun ways to utilize the Onion's new print edition.
Eat it!
The ink makes it extra tasty!
Pizza Party Plate!
Forgot plates for the function? Not to worry, the Onion makes a great plate for your next pizza party or blunt rotation with pizza.
Use it as toilet paper
The Toilet paper at UW-Madison sucks, lucky the Onion newspaper is here to save our asses! Don’t forget to wipe front to back.
Send a threatening message
Give yourself a throwback to kindergarten and get out those scissors and glue sticks. Perfect for death threats and admissions of obsession!
Wear it as a hat
Look stylish with the crew, whether you want to be sailors, priests, or people with paper on their heads.