The world rejoices today as famed playwright and turkey wearing a skin suit, Lin Manuel Miranda was found dead today in his Manhattan apartment at the age of 41. The Manuel-Miranda estate refuses to release the official cause of death, but have reported he was found clutching a polaroid when he yelled at Mike Pence on stage. Doctors theorize he was killed by a bursting ego.
Mr. Manuel Miranda is survived by his wife Vanessa Nadal and two children, who say they will carry on his legacy of being a national disgrace the best that they can.
“I’ll miss him”, assures Mrs. Nadal, “but I won’t miss that lip biting he would do, that would dry me up so fast I'm surprised I’m not infertile.”
Broadway Theater manager Saul Cametti claims to be respectfully excited about the chance to perform hit musicals like Hamilton without the asthmatic wheezing of Mr Manuel Miranda's attempts at singing. However, for fans who are nostalgic for the original performances, he assures they have already acquired a possum that has been trained to squeal whenever Mr Manuel Miranda would normally speak.
Co-worker Daveed Diggs remembers Lin Manuel. “I gotta say, I owe that man my career. After people saw I could spend over an hour on stage in his presence without jamming toothpicks in my ears people knew I could do any role. So thanks L Double M, may you rest in hell.”
A candlelight vigil for the self appointed rapper will be held outside the dumpsters of a local Sbarro Pizzeria, with planners prepping for a shocking 12 fans to appear.
IM CACKLING RIGJT NOW WGAT IS THIS MADNESS 😭😭😭😭😭
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